Spam - I don't get it..

Just to be clear. I do get spam in my inbox of Google mail. That's not what I mean.

I don't understand why anybody bothers to send spam. Or read spam.

And lately there's so much of it being sent and it's so unsophisticated. The subject of the message is often just junk. Why is that? Is it being generated by a computer invented by a moron who can't spell? It couldn't be that.. because some of the messages almost make sense.

Here are a few of my favourites from the current set of spam messages filtered out by google mail along with what I assume the message is about:

Make her scream like never before
presumably this is a few quick tips on how to give the woman in your life a chinese burn, how to get her in a headlock or maybe even an offer of some tickets for a David Hasselhoff concert in Berlin. Obvious.

Impress your woman with your animal instincts
Clearly this message has some great tips for knocking over the bin/garbage in your home and then eating your way through all the filthiest remnants of food you can find. Maybe a tip for how to dislocate your shoulder so you can "clean yourself" like a dog or cat would do. Who wouldn't want to open this message.

Be Macho!
Yes indeed. Clearly a membership form for the hairy chest club with a link to a downloadable medallion for printing onto glossy photo paper. I believe this is how most superstars started out so a must for all fans of macho heros such as Chuck Norris, Steven Segal and that guy in the Soprano's who was shot in the face so he couldn't have a proper funeral.

and finally..

Turnip Hooked
Now I have some colleagues who have never heard of Turnip. No idea what it is or what you do with it. This is clearly the e-mail for them. This is one of those informative and engaging introductions to this wonderful vegetable that by the time they have read to the bottom they are simply hooked. They are cruising the streets just hours later looking for a late night turnip score. And who could blame them. The king of "vegetables that can be eaten by humans and swine".

And now to delete all the ones offerings me Rolex watches and other smut.