It's difficult suddenly having all this time

Photo by form PxHere

I should feel positive about having all this time at home that I didn't expect. This Covid-19 problem that challenges the world suddenly means I have time for reading, watching videos I wanted to watch for ages, doing a few other things I never imagined I'd find time for.. and yet I'm grappling with a strange feeling of apathy and low motivation. Outside things are so quiet, except for an occasional passing car, and that's contributing to this sleepy, low energy feeling.

I'm going to try and create a frame for my day, to help me make sure that I do things that are worthwhile and move me forward. I'm using Day One journal app for that purpose and have created a template for each day that I can use and reflect on at the end of each day and each week. I think that will help.

I also need to be careful that I don't end up spending the entire day in front of the computer - that's not healthy either. 

OK, positive thoughts. I will go now and prepare dinner for the family. Little forward steps. Here I come.

So little time, so many things to do

Tomorrow I intend to spend most of the day reading. I have placed my reading glasses deliberately on a side table next to the comfortable armchair. When I emerge from sleep I shall be tempted to switch on the television, as usual, and my hope is that my visual reminder will keep me from wasting the day channel hopping.

I love reading books. I love reading articles in journals and magazines. I just don't spend enough time doing it. I am tempted away by Netflix, or some other computer-based or phone-based distraction.

Tomorrow will be a day of glorious reading. Let's see how it goes.

I start with Donald Norman's 'The Design of Everyday Things". A wonderful book so far.

The day before you travel

I'm leaving tomorrow to spend a week in another country. It's an experience I have had so many times over my life, but for some reason I am full of fear. I enjoy being there, I enjoy arriving there - I just don't enjoy preparing to go there. 

Today I have been deciding which bag to take. I don't want to stand at the carousel waiting for bags. I want to exit the flight, exit the airport building and arrive in the country. For whatever it's worth, my arrival really only happens when I put my bag on the floor of the place where I will sleep and close the door behind me. That makes the journey very long. Not just the flight but the drive to the airport, the waiting in the airport and the lining up at the gate. Then there's the boredom of the flight, the journey from the airport (in this case a bus and then 2 trains). I expect to be in traveller mode from 8 AM until 6 PM. I feel tired just thinking about it.

I've been organising car parking, boarding passes, travel insurance, and a heap of other stuff. It feels like a day job going away like this.

When I get where I'm going I plan to rest. I plan to sit with a coffee and just watch everyone rushing about while I finally get to do nothing but rest and relax.

A message to anyone out there.

Hello to anyone out there reading this.

I certainly took my time to decide if I would keep on writing on this blog. I checked in tonight for the first time in a year. Anyway, I'm going to keep writing. Why? That's easy.

I sometimes just feel the need to put something out there. I'm not writing for anyone in particular, not even for myself. I just like to take a thought that is trapped in my head and to set it free without it disappearing forever.

Right now I am thinking about a trip that's coming up this weekend. I'm taking my eldest son to England to go and watch his (and my) favourite football team. It's not important which team we're going to see, what's important is that I'm bringing him to do something that I never had a chance to do when I was his age.

It kind of feels like a really important thing but I can't quite articulate why. The worst thing is that I'm pretty excited for him (and me) but he's kind of laid back about it. I suspect on the inside he is pretty excited but he doesn't tend to show it.

Anyway - that's on my mind today and will be right up until we leave on Friday afternoon.

That's all I'll write for now. I feel good that I have decided to give this another go. If there's anyone out there who has been dipping in to my blog over the years in the off chance that I am actively writing again - something switched back on in my mind this week and I just feel something pulling me back to the writing.. so here we are again.

Time for this blog to end?

Wow! It has been a long time since I made a few regular posts on this blog. Lately it has been one posting, then a really long gap, and then another.

I have been thinking about whether I want to let this blog just kind of fall away and wither.  I want to create another one, but for a different purpose, and I kind of feel like it would be weird to have two different blogs.

I'll ponder it tonight and tomorrow and make a decision then.

Looking back, there are lots of interesting posts on here, well I think they are interesting anyhow!

It would be a shame just to close this down and never come back to it again.

If you think there's any point in keeping this blog alive, maybe you might leave a one or two word comment. That way I'll know if anyone out there cares.

Bye for now.

Sometimes being honest is not always the best approach.

I think I am very open and tend to be very trusting with my thoughts and opinions. I don't think there are any deep-lying motives that lurk beneath the surface that have bad intent attached.

I think I am giving freely the information that I have or believe.

It can come back to bite but I am big enough and perhaps wise enough to be honest about that too, to admit when I have spoken unfairly or have been wrong to share my opinions, or that they were just not an accurate reflection of the reality.

I don't want to be the kind of person who withholds information and mistrusts others. I guess I have to learn to live with the reality that sometimes I can get it wrong and can upset people.

My mistake

Doh!

forget I said anything.

I interpreted something as if it was all about me, and it wasn't.

End of story.