Exam next week

I have my big exams next week. Three papers in three hours. Needless to say I am "bricking it" as we say over here.

This means that I won't have a whole heap of time to comment/rant about stuff.

Once the exam is over with I'll write some more. I have seen some daft stuff in this past week but I have to park it so I can focus.

From Gung-Ho to Tragedy

I heard what sounded like water pouring down. I then looked over at my side to see a river of blood coming down from where he was. I had blood all over my shoulder from him and when I looked at him, I saw his head was gone.

This is a really tragic story of a guy who enlisted the day after September 11 to fight in the war on terror. He wanted to do something, to not feel useless and gutless. He left behind a fantastic career to fight. This is not how stories like this are supposed to end. This is reality.

Really tragic.

The dot-com boom is alive and well

Amazing story in the papers this morning about a company that managed to blow $160M in just 2 years, without once making any actual profit. When did this happen? 1999? Nope. Try last year. Incredible.

Throw into the mix some supercars, a Maybach limousine, some yachts, a pile of firearms, some visa irregularities and all this on top of champagne-fuelled "dud product" launch parties at which Sting and Busta Rhymes mingled with investors and journalists.

Read about it here.

This is eerily reminiscent of the stories of boo.com and ValueAmerica.com at the "end" of the dot-com boom. Sounds like this boom is not over for everyone.

David Kuo made a packet of money writing about his sad experience in ValueAmerica, and has been savaged more than once for his real lack of remorse for his own role. Look at this review of his book for example.

Likewise Ernst Malmsten did the same by writing a book about boo.com. His book does not cover him in glory while at the same time one is left feeling like he doesn't really see what happened as such a bad thing. One of his former employees wrote a piece about their so-called business plan. Read about it here. Terrifyingly if you visit the boo.com site today you'll see a message that boo.com is coming back in 2006!!

Why do people continue to throw investment funds and venture capital at these people without at the very least checking if they are credible?

The limbic connection

In his book Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman illustrates the fascinating concept of the limbic connection between 2 brains.

In brief, the idea is that brains need other brains to connect with, otherwise they cannot function. They are an open loop system and need another brain (in someone else's head) to connect with to close the loop.

In the book there are some amazing examples of how brains in proximity can impact each other, including the presence of a close friend or relative in a hospital can cause positive effects on the sick person's vital signs (breathing, heart-rate etc).

Anyway, the core idea is that somehow brains connect on a sub-conscious level, and we are blissfully unaware and in now way able to control the connection.

I think I had one of these examples happen to me today.

I was driving to the local recycling centre with my 4 year-old son this morning in the car. We had just driven out of the estate where we live and onto the main road when for some unknown reason I found myself thinking "wait a minute, where are we? have I missed the turn for the recycling park?"

Not 3 seconds later a little voice piped up in the back..

"dad, I think you missed the turn for the recycling park"

Uncanny.

Abuse of the people

I read this quote recently and it really shocked me.

The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country

What shocked me was that this could have been a quote from any year of this current century, but it's not.

It's a quote from Hermann Göring, second in command in the Third Reich, in an interview from his prison cell in 1946 awaiting trial at Nuremberg.

History has a terrifying habit of repeating itself and we almost never learn anything from it.

Disgusting men

OK I make no apologies for writing about the toilet again, and I make no apologies for the gross content about to follow. Ladies you might like to look away or click to some other website.

The way some men treat a public toilet is simply revolting. I just don't understand it. I could almost understand this kind of behaviour if I was talking about a toilet in the far corner of some remote park in some uninhabited God-forsaken outpost of mankind at the outer reaches of the planet.

Regrettably I'm talking about the toilets in the building where I work. First up, let me say what a fantastic job the cleaning staff do in the building. I'm just not sure I could do what they do, especially given what they face on a regular basis.

I can't speak for the women's toilets or for what goes on in there (obviously).

Anyway let me get right to it. I just can't understand why someone would walk into a cubicle in the toilet and proceed to whizz all over the seat. For the love of God, why would someone do that? It is so gross and so completely disrespectful to everyone else who has to use the toilet, not to mention the poor soul who has to clean it.

Then there's the rogue turd. What kind of person goes into a toilet, leaves one of these in the bowl and doesn't flush the toilet. What is that? is it some kind of peacock-type display of prowess? This is just so disgusting. I am speechless when I see this and just can't imagine the cognitive process going on in that person's head.

There's more gross displays but I'm not going to bother. I mean this is 2006 and we are not neanderthals. This is horrifying to me.

Then there are prats who come in and leave the taps on the sinks running. Cold water, hot water. Either way it's stupid and irresponsible.

I once worked with a guy who used to bring a screwdriver into the toilet with him. He would slip into the cubicle, close the door and then proceed to unscrew the handle used to flush the toilet. He would then dump the handle and all the associated screws, washers etc into the toilet bowl. I also heard that he would occasionally stick a whole roll of toilet paper in there. Why did he do it? He would just shrug his shoulders and gesture in a Descartes fashion as if to say "why does anyone do anything?".

It's so gross and impossible to rationalise. I really dislike this kind of behaviour, it makes me despair of other people for a little while.

Primacy and recency

interesting idea from a book I'm reading about the role of the primacy effect and the recency effect on the jury trial system in the USA.

In brief the current setup would appear to bias the trial in favour of the prosecution.

Disturbing that nobody in authority has picked up on this... or maybe they have and decided to bury it (conspiracy theory #293)

Playing mind games

I like playing mind games. I really enjoy trying stuff out on people, just to see how they react. I'm not qualified to do this of course, and I have no scientific framework to apply to make my outcome scientifically or statistically valid.

I do however have a good feeling at the end of the "experiment". This is my way of enjoying the "cause and effect" phenomenon.

If I am messing with your head, don't worry about it. Indulge me instead.

I'll give you an example. This was a really interesting "experiment".

I bought something recently from a shop near where I live, an over-the-door hook for my bathroom door. When I got home it didn't fit. So I put it back in the box, dug out the receipt and headed back to the shop.

As I was approaching the shop I had this mad idea. I thought to myself "how can I make it impossible for me to get what I want here today?". I quickly swapped perspectives and thought about the person who would see me walk up with the bag. I thought about the idiot customer with the idiot problem and the lame excuse. I found myself thinking "now what does this idiot want?"

So, I played a psychological trick, if trick is the right word. Let's just say that I set the scene for a win-win situation. I aimed for the "no arguing" option.

I walked in and there was a queue of people, 2 or 3 in front of me. They were served pretty quickly so I was up next. The lady behind the counter, very pleasant indeed, beckoned me to the counter with a "next please".

I stepped up. Out of my mouth it came.

"I'm in a bit of trouble here."

What did she say? How did she react? Well one of the amazing things seems to be that human beings in a one-to-one situation (not a Kitty Genovese situation) where one person expresses a need for help jump at the chance to help. It seems to be our nature. People like to help people who need help. So I asked her for help with my spot of trouble and she didn't fail me.

Further, she was straight in there with the solution. "Would you like a refund?" You bet! I was out of there in 2 minutes and we were all happy.

Maybe this is a bad example, maybe I got someone on a good day. Maybe, but I've tried it again since and the exact same result happened, this time I really was asking for a stretch favour by returning something to a shop that it was not bought at (same chain, different location).

So, this kind of stuff fascinates me. How to help people to get into a really positive and optimal state of mind. This seems to work for me. I tell people I really could use their help and they jump right to attention and help me out. This is brilliant and the way people should help each other in my view.

Ok enough on that.

Today in the office loads of Finnish people are proud of their slightly mental but highly entertaining win in the Eurovision Song Contest at the weekend. I admit I watched it, though on the computer since my oldest son was watching CHiPs again.

And finally, kudos to Al for putting up some wonderful pictures of the restaurant where he works. It was brilliant to see all the faces behind the stories he's been telling. You're my new Number 1 this week mate!

Why do we love to hate?

I admit it. I read the da Vinci Code. I further admit that I enjoyed it.

I got the book as a gift and was keen to read it because everyone else was. As I said I enjoyed it.

I'm not going to comment on the book but I really would be interested to know why everybody on the planet feels the need to do so. It's not really comment though, it's unashamed and unfair criticism. They say this is a really bad book, and lately a really bad film.

Fair enough if you think that, I'm not going to tell you you are wrong. The part I'm struggling with is that 60 million people (and counting) have read the book. How can this be the case if this is such a terrible book.

So I think we're coming to the nub of the issue. It's about comparison. Everyone who is commenting on the book sees fit to compare it with something. The comparisons are unfair in my view.

Commentators are expecting Dan Brown to have adopted someone else's writing style, maybe Albert Camus or James Joyce perhaps. They expect the subject to be addressed in a more serious fashion, perhaps like The Gulag Archipelago. They expect the movie to be a faithful reproduction of an serious subject in a serious style, perhaps like Schindler's List.

Come on!

This is a thriller. Full stop. Did we have to listen to this rubbish when Raiders of the Lost Ark came out? Did we have to listen to this rubbish when Tom Clancy published Patriot Games.

Some people are so moved to comment that the Wikipedia page for this book has had editing capability suspended due to vandalism.

So what's going on here?

This is not a bad book despite this review (worth reading for the sheer absurdity). This is not a bad movie despite this review or this one. This is what it is. Take it or leave it.

If you don't like it then you don't like it. If you do like it, then you join the other 60 million people who should not have to feel like you have an inadequate viewpoint just because a few "informed experts" tell you that you're wrong to like it.

It's not a bad book and you're not wrong if you like it.

white collar crime

No not the usual type. I'm talking about the crime of wearing a shirt and tie and having your tie slip down a little to reveal the top button of your shirt.

This is of course a male fashion crime.

I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (again) and noticed that in the scene where everyone is travelling on the Wonkatania (the boat scene) Jack Albertson's tie has drooped and you can see his top button.

Oh the shame of it.

Am I sad or what?

The result never matters as much as the method

Another story today of someone having faked their research.

Some months ago it was the South Korean Cloning scandal, where the lead researcher seemed to have made a huge discovery and made a major medical breakthrough, only to find the whole thing was faked.

Today it's a story about a Chinese scientist who it appears did not make the huge breakthrough that was claimed in his technology project. The article claims that the research was stolen and copied. Strong stuff.

This takes us back once again to values. You've got to stand for something and you've got to be prepared to ignore the temptations to cheat. Cheating often promises a quicker path to success but this kind of success never lasts.

Why do people continue to do this? It must be something to do with the rewards nowadays being potentially so much greater. In this case the scientist stood to gain huge research funding, increased prestige and a whole bunch of state perks.

You see the same thing with athletes, businessmen, politicians.

The lure of a brown envelope stuffed with cash is so great.

If you follow sport you'll find the story here to be amazing and amusing, especially given the hysteria that followed the exit of the Italians from the last Football world cup.

Cheating and faking is small-time. Still the line forms for ever more willing participants in the game of "no one will ever find out". They always find out and cheats always get caught.

Don't put toothpaste in your eye

OH MY GOD. That is soooooo sore.

Last night while brushing my teeth on my way to bed, I inadvertently flicked some toothpaste into my eye. I don't know how exactly I did it but I definitely did flick a little bit in there.

The searing pain, the burning yet cold feeling right on the eyeball. Ouch.

I washed my face with cold water and after about 5 minutes it was not too bad. I had this crazy mental idea that I would go to bed and somehow the toothpaste would burn my eyeball right through and I would wake up blind in one eye. Happy to report that I am not blind in one eye (either eye) and that the "burn my eyeball" idea was pure and utter panic fantasy.

I've been trying to find out what element of toothpaste makes it hurt the eye so much. Not much success finding anything out and I am loathe to write to Colgate asking them to explain which constituent causes my eyes pain. They might think it strange.

Then I read this. Apparently if you're going to a riot, or other civil disturbance, always make sure that you bring some fluoride-based toothpaste with you. Should the instruments of the state decide to fire CS gas at you, you can conveniently whip out the old tube of toothpaste and run it into your eyes.

I think this is a toss-up between "AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH... that CS gas is burning my eyes" and "AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH.... that toothpaste is burning my eyes but on the other hand they do smell minty and might even be a little whiter tomorrow".

Hmmm.

I'd avoid the whole toothpaste in the eyes no matter what. It is not fun.

p.s. what is with the whole Dog Toothpaste scene... who brushes their dog's teeth? is this normal? do they floss too?

Bears and truth

The French authorities have begun re-introducing bears back into the Pyrenees in recent times, much to the chagrin of local farmers.

The farmers are convinced that the bears will wreak havoc with livestock and are firmly opposed to the plan. They claim that the first bear re-introduced attacked 3 sheep.

The World Wildlife Fund has its own view on the re-introduction of the bears. They don't see it as such a problem.

Farmers, conservationists, government ministries. They all have a view on this and each sees it differently. Each thinks they have the most realistic view of the situation.

Dick Cheney accidentally shot his hunting partner/friend in an accident. Same type of situation. You might take a view slating the guy, supporting the guy, giving a rational viewpoint or something altogether different.

In Malcolm Gladwell's New Yorker column, he reveals some really interesting ideas about this process of defining alternative "truths". The insights are based on a book by Charles Tilly called "Why?".

Definitely worth a read.

Now I know why.

No heroes, no norms

It struck me while watching TV today that the world is lacking heroes.

I don't mean people with super-human strength, the ability to fly, or anything "marvel comic"-like.

I mean people who set a good example and act as role models, whether they intend to or not.

Back in the eighties, TV was full of people like this. They used to say things like "don't throw rubbish on the ground", "don't be cruel to animals", "don't speed on the freeway" and so forth.

Think about it. Some of the best heroes of our youth were people on TV or in the media spotlight who were just decent people.

So what is there instead today? Who are the people who claim the spotlight? I think some of the answer lies in what kids and adults alike watch on TV or see in Movies these days.

Anyone in Desperate Housewives set a good example to anyone?
Anyone in a recent major movie set a good example to anyone?

ok, so broaden it away from movies and TV - same question.

Anyone in national politics set a good example to anyone?
sports?
popular music?
Scientific research?

it really is hard for me to identify a single character who is famed because of the example they set.

Nowadays we herald people who are brash, rude, uncaring, unfeeling, selfish and shallow.

Why is this?

Taking a stroll through the world of social psychology, much of the problem seems to be in the area of norms.

What on earth am I talking about?

Well, human beings take their cue from norms, because of their tendency to conform with others. We don't want to be ridiculed or punished so when other people voice an opinion about someone we might just go along. We might also confirm because we can relate to something they have strong convictions about, even when we haven't really thought their conviction through.

Another thing that can lead us to conform is the credibility of others, usually down to their expericence, knowledge or insight.

The question is this. When we look at people and decide that they are role models, have we really thought through whether they have earned the right to be considered so?

Look at all the stars that have fallen from grace, politicians that got caught, former CEOs of huge organisations caught and tried in court and so on. Many of these people were considered role models, and now they are not.

Real role models are seen as the norm. The norm has a huge influence on the daily behaviour of people like you and me, in a kind of "n degrees of separation" way. Real role models used to be our heroes.

Now we have no real heroes, so do we have any real role models?

Do I not like art?

I was at home this evening around 9pm. It was just starting to get dark outside and the doorbell rang.

I couldn't see who it was so I turned on the outside light and opened the door. Standing there was a well presented young man (I sound like someone's parents) with a stack of paintings at his feet, resting against his legs.

We exchanged the usual pleasantries for about 10 seconds and then I asked him if he was selling paintings. He looked a bit taken back and answered "no, I am selling art". This comment was designed to make me feel like a philistine perhaps??

I gave him my usual line when I don't want to stand at the door talking to a complete stranger wishing to sell me something. I said "look I don't want to waste your time, I'm not interested."

I thought that was pretty final. I mean "I'm not interested" should really be the end of it for me.

He comes back with "you say you're not interested, do you not like art?"

OK. Now I'm starting to feel insulted. I breathe in, and repeat "I don't want to waste your time, I'm not interested".

I wish him a good evening and he replies in kind. He picks up his stuff and leaves.

Now I think this is a tough job that he's doing, I really do. I just don't want to buy one of these things at 9 o'clock at night. It's dark for heaven's sake and he's trying to sell paintings, sorry.. Art.

This is the second time I have been slurred on my own doorstep, the previous being by a beligerent delivery driver wanting to sell me beef from the back of a refrigerated van.

Maybe I am getting old and grumpy.